Obama calls Mubarak.

The telephone rings and Mubarak picks it up.

Obama: "Hello, Hosni."

Mubarak: "Hello Barack, why you call me night time?

Obama: "Did I wake you up?"

Mubarak: "I sleep...."

O: "Sorry Hosni, but things are getting scary for you and for us here in the US."

M: "What you talk about?"

O: "All those protesters calling for your head"

M: "Oh, that...Tomorrow I tell bastards I no stand for re-election."

O: "But if you did that we are both screwed. Come to your senses, man! Who will look after our interests if you disappeared?"

M: "I no disappear...I no fool, Barack!"

O: "What do you mean?"

M: "Tomorrow you know"

O: " Look, just cut the bullshit. We want you to stay in power and carry out meaningful reforms NOW."

M: "Oh, like reform you promise Americans? Don't worry, My promise false also."

O: "Don't insult me, you little shit."

M: "I sorry. Very, very sorry."

O: "Now get back to sleep -- and stay in power. I will continue to make the right noises for you."

M: "I happy you help, Barack."

Mubarak slams the phone down and turns to one of his henchmen: "That black man want I offer HOPE AND CHANGE, like he did."

H: "He harami, sir."