Obama, a fake and a fraud.

The more I come across anything about Obama, the more I hate the bastard. A fine speech-maker but boy what a fake, what a fraud. I saw through him the moment he took office, as noted in this blog elsewhere. Does anyone now think that this skeleton of a man would be re-elected? Well, judging by the education level of the American people, he might very well be, in the same way Bush was. America, unlike Europe, is obsessed with religion. Any country that is religious is immature and lacking in knowledge. I am referring here to the general population and not to the few scientists and thinkers who have made America strong and powerful economically and militarily. aziz anom

Letter to aljazeera's empire program

Mr. Marwan,   In your recent edition of EMPIRE I was hoping that somebody on your panel would raise the question whether Israel's very existence on Palestinian soil was legitimate or not, but unfortunately nobody did, including you Mr. Marwan. There is much talk everywhere, including on Aljazeera, about two state solution, etc. This is like saying that the robber who has occupied part of your house has a right to remain there. I say that a criminal act cannot and must not be rewarded; that the criminal must be punished. The Zionists therefore must dismantle their state and go back to the countries they came from. That is the only solution that is just.     I don't know what you believe about Israel's so-called victories on the battlefield. Those victories were the result of active western military support. My accidental research has revealed just that. Please check out my site at:  http://rbt.tripod.com/index-12.html   Best wishes, aziz anom

fraudulent women

One has to be very careful when trying to make a woman who appears to be attractive or beautiful. She might not be that at all under the make-up she invariably puts on. In fact she might be positively ugly. This is plain and simple fraud on their part. Don't these lasses realize that the man will sooner or later find out what they really look like and then it will be one hell of a shock for him, very likely making him take to his heels, leaving them back on square one.

Tiger Woods gets horny

The story of Tiget Woods having multiple affairs should teach us all that no matter how beautiful ones wife may be there comes a time in a man's life when he craves sex with other females. One simply gets bored doing it with the same woman. There has to be variety in our lives, meaning that the institution of marriage is unnatural. Muhammad, the founder of Islam, knew that. The problem with him was that he limited to four the number of women each of his male followers could have whereas he himself slept with as many as he wanted. What a selfish man. Also he ignored the needs of his female followers by denying them the right also to screw with four men. aziz anom

Warmonger Obama wins Nobel peace prize

Who are these idiots sitting in Oslo with peace prizes to hand out. They could have seen through this hypocrite, Obama, in the early days of his presidency, if not during the presidential campaign. Did they really believe that he was a peace maker?   This bastard has broken nearly all his promises and simply continued with the horrendous policies of that criminal Bush. He does not deserve this Nobel peace prize. What he deserves is a whack on his head and for good measure a doze of water-boarding until he admits that he is only interested in his own survival. But he won't survive for long. Four years in the Oval office is all he will get, for no one is more hated than a hypocrite.  aziz anom

religion 3

The New Statesman of Britain.

You would think that the New Statesman, a left leaning publication, would welcome criticism of the crimes committed by the Zionists, that it would tolerate the view that the illegal state of Israel should be dismantled and that the Jews that settled there should go back to the countries they came from. But no. It would not publish such a comment on their online edition, which goes to show that no matter how far to the left you might be, a westerner still wants the Palestinians to continue to suffer the loss of their land. It all boils down to the all-pervasive hatred of the Muslims, I guess.

Ghosts

Have you ever experienced any super-natural events? Well, I have.   The first time was when I was about 6 or 7 years old. This was way back in the early forties, well before hovering machines such as helicopters were invented, which would have explained what I saw floating above the roof of our house in Ranavav, India. I felt as though someone inside that object was watching me. I don't know why but I remember wanting to throw a stone at the thing (yes, it was so close above me). I don't think I threw anything and my memory at that point goes blank.   The second time was years later in the nineties in northern Thailand in a town called Tat Panom. I had arrived as a tourist and went to a guest house recommended in the guide book. The lady owner of the house informed me that the house was full but that she had another place, and cheaper too, where she could give me a room. She took me there and I found that there was no one else staying there. All went well in the beginning with me alone in the house until I began to hear noises coming from a locked room next to the sitting room where I spent time reading and listening to music on my tape-recorder. I ascribed the noise to some rats that were running around in there. A couple of days later a man and a woman from Europe arrived to stay in the house and they were given the room from which the noises were coming. I saw that it was a normal bedroom like the one I had been given down the corridor and there certainly were no rats. This couple had apparently stayed in the house before during their frequent trips to the town from the house they had built for themselves in the district. They knew the landlady very well and they told me a chilling story. They said that that house was haunted and the landlady knew about it. An American who had also stayed alone in the house some months before my arrival was so baffled by the noises that he had gone around the neighbourhood asking people if there had taken place in the house a murder or a suicide or something. I don't know what he found out but that very night the couple had arrived I heard, in the middle of the night, a knocking on my door. I didn't open the door. Who would want to talk to me at that hour? The couple said they certainly hadn't disturbed me, adding that they too had been woken up -- by the rattling of the chain on the front door which was near their room. They moved out a few days later. And so did I. aziz anom

Religion 2

According to a new study, prosperity is highest in countries that practice religion the least. aziz anom

Just watch this

Religion

Somebody somewhere wrote the following:   "Religion is ultimately dependent on belief in invisible beings, inaudible voices, intangible entities, undetectable forces, and events and judgments that happen after we die." aziz anom

Bollywood song 1.

How safe is your Email?

The following appeared on the internet:

"Do you think an erased email is gone forever?

We've all sent an embarrassing or unfortunate email and sighed relief when it was finally deleted, thinking the whole episode was behind us. Think again. Just because you delete an email message from your inbox and the sender deletes it from their 'Sent' inbox, does not mean that the email is lost forever. In fact, messages that are deleted often still exist in backup folders on remote servers for years, and can be retrieved by skilled professionals.
So start to think of what you write in an email as a permanent document. Be careful about what you put into writing, because it can come back to haunt you many years after you assumed it was gone forever."

Jokes 3

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you £100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied.
It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The vicar put the £100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

A guy walks into a bar carrying an 18" alligator.
The bartender says, "What do think you're doing? Get that goddamn thing out of here. I don't allow pets in my establishment".
The guy tries to explain. "Look he won't cause any trouble. He's well trained and I'll prove it". He then proceeds to put the alligator on the bar and says, "open".
The alligator open its mouth and you can see all of its razor sharp teeth. "Now watch this", he says and proceeds to remove his penis through his zipper and lays his balls gently onto the alligator's teeth.
He then orders a beer and proceeds to drink it. All the while the alligator keeps its mouth open and nothing happens. After finishing the beer the man gently removes his penis and puts it back into his pants.
He then says, "close" and the alligator closes its mouth. "You see he is perfectly trained. He would do that for anybody. Does anyone want to try?"
After looking around he finally here a drunk whose sitting at table say "Sure I'd like to try. But I don't know if I can keep my mouth open that long."

Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away.
The first two mice look at each other, then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."

This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off, "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold, "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 5 times a month. What do you say to that?" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale, "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about you?"
The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, "Sure, once a day! Great! But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!"

A letter to the BBC

I was listening to your interview on Sunday the 11th with the US military spokesman in Afghanistan about why the US forced AP to erase the footage of the suicide attack on them by the Taliban. The Americans claimed that it was done in order not to compromise their investigation into the incident. What baffled me was that neither you nor your correspondent in Afghanistan put the following question to the Americans: "If you were going to investigate the incident then surely the footage would have been of great help in getting to the truth."

Despite your clumsiness the interview left no doubt that the Americans fired on innocent civilian bystanders. They have done that many times before and they are getting away with it because journalists like you don't do their jobs properly.

Have a good day.

Some interesting remarks from somewhere about marriage

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Think a little before you go through surgery.

Here is something I found somewhere:

SURGERY
Except in a life threatening situation or impending neurologic injury, surgery, with it's many possible complications, should always be a last resort and done only after all conservative treatments have been exhausted. Chronic pain is not a life-threatening situation! It can be very anxiety provoking, life demeaning, and aggravating, but it is not an emergency. Pain should not be an automatic indication that surgery is necessary. Conservative treatments such as vitamins, herbs, massage, physical therapy, chiropractic/osteopathic care, medications, and, of course, Prolotherapy, should precede any surgical intervention. Conservative care is complete only after treatment with Prolotherapy.
It is not uncommon for patients to tell us that surgery has been recommended to resolve their painful conditions. Reasons for surgery are many, but they may have nothing to do with the actual problem causing the pain!
Trying conservative treatments before undergoing surgery is only common sense. In more than 95 percent of our patients, we find that the true diagnosis of the cause of chronic pain is different than the diagnosis the patient had previously been given. Rarely will a physician describe a ligament or tendon injury as a cause of chronic pain. Ligaments and tendons often do not appear on X-rays, one of the primary diagnostic instruments of modern medicine. The diagnosis of ligament or tendon weakness cannot be made by a blood test, electrical test, or X-ray. It must be made using a listening ear and a strong thumb.
Even back in early 1981 as new and more effective methods of conservative treatment were being used (including Prolotherapy), the need for surgery was decreasing. Bernard E. Finneson, M.D., pointed out in a survey of surgical cases that "80% should not... have been brought to surgery." It is quite possible that with the widespread use of Prolotherapy this percentage would be even higher.
In more than 95 percent of pain cases, surgery can be avoided by utilizing Prolotherapy. Dr. Hemwall, having treated more than 10,000 pain patients, resorted to surgery for resolving a chronic pain complaint in only one percent of the patients.
Our experience has been similar. In the event that surgery is necessary, the previous Prolotherapy treatment will not hinder the subsequent surgical procedure. Prolotherapy causes normal ligament and tendon tissue to form. The surgeon will observe an area treated with Prolotherapy containing strengthened ligament and tendon tissue.
Surgery to alleviate chronic pain involves the removal of tissue or replacement with prosthetic joints. To alleviate chronic lower back pain, a surgeon may decide to remove a disc or cartilage tissue. The two questions to ask are, "Who put that tissue there? For what purpose?" We believe God placed disc tissue there to stablilize and cushion the lower back, and cartilage tissue in the joints so that bones glide smoothly over one another. What happens when the disc and cartilage tissue are removed? If the disc is removed, the vertebral levels above and below the surgerized segment develop proliferative arthritis. This is due to these segments having to carry more of the force than they were designed to carry in the lower back. If cartilage is removed, the bones no longer glide smoothly over one another. Soon after this, a person notices a crunching of the joint where the cartilage was removed. This crunching sound is arthritis. The end result of surgical procedures that remove cartilage, ligaments, and bone from knees, backs, and necks is often arthritis.
In 1964, John R. Merriman, M.D., compared Prolotherapy versus operative fusion in the treatment of instability of the spine and pelvis and wrote, "The purpose of this article is to evaluate the merit of two methods of treating instability of the spine and pelvis, with which I have been concerned during 40 years as a general and industrial surgeon... The success of either method depends on regeneration of bone cells to provide joint stabilization, elimination of pain and resumption of activity. Ligament and tendon relaxation occurs when the fibro-osseous junction to bone do not regain their normal tensile strength after sprain and lacerations, and when the attachments are weakened by decalcification from disease, menopause and aging."
Dr. Merriman summarized that conservative physiologic treatment by Prolotherapy after a confirmed diagnosis of ligamental and tendinous relaxation was successful in 80 to 90 percent of more than 15,000 patients treated.
Despite the many advances of modern technology, surgery is fraught with many dangers. Dr. Hemwall administered more than four million injections in over 40,000 patient visits without even one permanent injury. In the last 38 years, I do not know of any serious long term consequences from Prolotherapy. The procedure is done in the office, takes less than 20 minutes in most cases, and does not require time off from work. No pre-op type anesthesia is needed, hence no risk of serious complications due to anesthesia. Compare this to a surgical procedure, where general anesthesia is used to knock you out. There you are lying on a table, unconscious. The anesthesia alone leaves you exposed to many possible complications, including cardiac arrest, overmedication, or death. Take a look at a pre-surgical consent form some time - the risk of death is clearly laid out. If you are a healthy person, the risks are low, but common sense dictates: why take any chances when a more conservative treatment is available? Anyone given the option of surgery versus Prolotherapy should try the more conservative option first. Other reasons to avoid surgery are:
1. Rehabilitation is much longer after surgery than for more conservative treatments, sometimes requiring many days of hospitalization and months of rehabilitative therapy.
2. The cost of surgery is astronomical compared to more conservative treatments. Prolotherapy of the ankle runs a few hundred dollars, as compared to tens of thousands of dollars for ankle surgery and all of the hospitalization and rehabilitation expenses. And that's not even to mention the added cost of Prolotherapy which may still be needed if the surgery doesn't work!
3. Surgery is much more traumatic to receive. It puts a great stress on the body and can sometimes cause the patient to feel less confident using the surgerized limb.
4. Surgery irreversibly alters the patient's God-given anatomy.
5. Surgery can have all kinds of complications which cannot begin to be touched on in a book of this scope. One study of arthroscopic ankle arthrodesis (ankle fusion) showed an overall complication rate of 55 percent, including infections and continued pain.
Finally, all the surgery in the world cannot cause the new growth of healthy tendon and ligament tissue; at best, the pain may be alleviated, but for all the expense, risk, and trauma, the underlying cause of pain may never be addressed. Prolotherapy is a safe, simple, inexpensive, effective, and proven cure for chronic pain.

Jokes 2

When the new school year started the history teacher was so excited because there were three little Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asks the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knows this.
The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest & takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice " I am a Cherokee. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Cherokee land. So, I know I am a Cherokee."
The teacher says very good and asks the next little Indian boy to stand.
The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest & takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice " I am a Comanche. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Comanche land. So, I know I am a Comanche."
The teacher is growing more excited by the moment and asks the last little Indian boy to stand up.
The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest & takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice " I am a Fuckawee".
The teacher looks dumb founded & says "I don't think there is any such tribe as the Fuckawee."
The little boy says, "My Father & I walked for many days and many nights, and many nights and many days. We ran out of water, but we kept walking. With no rest, we were getting weary. Finally, one day my Father stops and with his hand to shield the sun from his eyes, looks around.
"He said hummmm, where the Fuckawee"
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There was an Amish girl that had just come of age to date. Her mother was helping her get ready to go out that night.
As she was about ready she put on some gloves, because it was to be cold that night, and the Amish still ride in buggies.
Her mother asked, "why are you wearing gloves?" She continued by saying that it wasn't lady like to wear gloves.
The Girl said to her mother, "it's supposed to be cold tonight, what do I do with my hands if they get cold?"
Her mother replied, "just stick your hands between your knees, and they will get warm." So the girl agreed. Her date picked her up and they went on there way.
On their way home her hands got cold, so following her mother's orders, she stuck her hands between her knees.
Her date looked over and said, "what on earth do you have your hands between your legs for?"
She replied, "my mother told me that if my hands got cold, to stick them between my legs to get them warm."
Her date said to her, "well my dick is frozen solid do you care if I stick it between your legs to get it warm?"
The girl said, "well I don't see any harm in it." So he did.
After returning home from her date she asked her mother, "What do you know about them there dicks?"
Her mother said, "Why what do you know about dicks?"
The girl looked at her mother and said, "All I know is that when they thaw out they make an awful mess!"
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A group of Asian women were visiting a village somewhere deep in Africa when they came across a trader selling human breasts.
One of the Asian ladies asked the trader, "Why are you selling women's breasts?"
The trader replied, "Locally, we have found that consuming the flesh of a woman's breast can increase men's sex drive, and enlarge the size of their penis."
Hearing with interest about the 'enlarging the penis' the Asian woman was determined to buy some for her husband. She quickly asks the butcher for the price of the breast.
"Well," says the butcher, "It depends on what kind of breast you want. We have black breast, white breast, and Asian breast."
"Give me the price of each." said the Asian lady impatiently.
"The black breasts are $200 a pound," the butcher says, "white breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian breasts are $400 a pound."
The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were the most expensive in the breast booth.
"Hey, not bad! Asian breasts are worth more!", said one of the Asian ladies.
"No no no, you don't understand," the trader explains, "you don't know how many Asian women we have to kill to get one pound of breast!"
.....................................................................................
The Salesman's Scoreboard

A travelling salesman is out in the country selling his wares. He is in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down, he leaves the car and starts walking and reaches a small farm house. He knocks and a middle aged man opens the door.
The salesman asks him for a place to sleep in the night. The farmer tells that he has only one room with a bed and on that he and his wife (who turns out be gorgeous) sleep. So the salesman sleeps on the bed with the farmer and his lovely wife.
In the middle of the night the farmer's wife gets horny and asks the salesman to come over to her side and fuck her! The salesman points towards the snoring farmer and whispers, ''He'll wake up!''
The farmer's wife replies, ''He's a sound sleeper. If you don't trust me pull a hair out of his ass and you will see that he won't wake up!''
The salesman tries and the farmer does not wake up. The salesman and the farmer's wife get into a fucking session. They repeat the act several more times that night and the salesman plucks a hair out of the farmer's ass everytime he goes to fuck the wife.
Finally the farmer wakes up and says, ''Hey, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but can you stop using my ass as a scoreboard!?!''
.................................................................................
The waitress walks up to one of her tables and is shocked to see three Japanese men, all sat there masturbating violently.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screams.
One of the Japanese guys looks up and says, "Well, it says on the menu, First come, First served!"
..............................................................................
A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I''ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"
Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don''t know sh*t?"

One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and the preacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first.
Susie said your heart, 'cause you need it to love.
Richie said your head, 'cause you need it to think.
Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, "Your feet."
Confused, the pastor asked why.
Danny replied, "I was walking past my mom's room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."
The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends . One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St.Peter and said, "St.Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can't find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn''t make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I'm in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn't!''

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and the only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

Maria gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A few weeks later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward.
"At least they're finally together."
"Excuse me, Father," says one of her sons, "but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"
"I mean her legs."

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him, ''Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention ... the assembly line for the automobile changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want.'' Ford thinks to himself about it, and says, ''I want to hang out with God Himself.''
The befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, ''When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?'' God asks, ''What do you mean?'' ''Well,'' says Ford, ''You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly need repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. fuel consumption is outrageous.
...just to name a few.'' ''Hmmm ...,'' replies God, ''Hold on a minute.'' God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time the computer prints out a report, and God reads it. God then turns to Ford, and says, ''It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."

George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney were riding on an elephant. A group of bystanders were watching intently. All of a sudden someone in the croud shouted, "Hey look that elephant has two assholes on it!"
Bush and Cheney looked down at the elephants ass, confused.

A young priest was visting a convent. One day he was taking shower, when he realized that he didn't have any soap. He wrapped a towel around himself and ran to his room, hoping no one saw him. He got to his room, grabbed the soap and was running back to his shower. On his way, his towel came off, but he heard two nuns coming down the hallway. He was forced to leave the towel, and stand like a statue. When the nuns came to him, one said, ''Look! A new soap dispenser!'' Another said, ''How you get the soap?'' So one pulled on his dick, and a bar of soap fell from his hand. ''Look! I got a bar of soap!'' said the nun. The second nun pulled on his dick.
''Look! I got liquid soap!''

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic.
As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!''
George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!''
And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?''

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her.
"Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," she replied.
The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked.
"Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," said the prostitute.
Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you."
And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. I felt it while we were dancing."

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...

Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them.
The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.
Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag."
Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?"
"Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad.
"Oh, okay," said Johnny.
The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave.
While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said.
"Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny.
"Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.
Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells.
"Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny.
"That's just another word for cooking the turkey."
"Oh, I get it," said Johnny.
All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside.
"Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady.
"Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six."
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"
"None.",replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nevously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.

She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"

He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."

She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."

St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."

She says, "That's okay. I've already got holes for that."

----------

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? Cowboy hats are for ass holes.

----------

Why do hippos do their romancing underwater? You know how hard it is to keep a five-hundred pound pussy wet? <<...

----------

A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile. The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."

So, he gets a cup of coffee. Then he sees that the guy next to him has finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full. He says, "Are you going to eat that?"

The other guy says, "No. You can have it."

The guy takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, he sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

----------

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean.

------------------------------------------------------------------
THE LIFE OF AN EGG
==================
So you think your life is bad?
Just think how bad the life of the egg is....

You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard, 2 minutes to get soft.
You have to share a box with 11 other guys.
And the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother!
------------------------------------------------------------------
MAN AND WIFE
============
A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over. The man pulls over and the officer approaches the car:

State cop: License and registration please
Man: I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?
State cop: I clocked you on radar doing 75mph.
Man: There must be some mistake, I was only going 65.
Wife: Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!
State cop: I'm also citing you for having a tail light out.
Man: But officer, I wasn't aware it was out.
Wife: Oh Harold, you know its been out for two months.
State cop: I'm also fining you for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car.
Wife: Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Listen you dumb cow, shut your mouth!!!
State cop: Ma'am, does he always talk to you this way?
Wife: Only when he's drunk.......
------------------------------------------------------------------
Do nuns give oral sex?
A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance & see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:

1) you have to be single and
2) you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fullfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying his eyes out.

"My dear child, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

The magic of vitamin D.

The following was published somewhere on 18 September 2007.

"The virtues of Vitamin D: It's time we saw the light

There's no such thing as a cure-all, but Vitamin D comes pretty close. Jeremy Laurance explains how a little sunshine could help you live a lot longer

It may not be the first supplement to be called a "wonder vitamin", but it is one of the few to have lived up to the name. Last week, the biggest review of the role of vitamin D in health found that people who took supplements of the vitamin for six years reduced their risk of dying from all causes.

Overall mortality
It was the proof that researchers had been waiting for. Earlier studies had suggested that vitamin D played a key role in protecting against cancer, heart disease and diabetes – conditions that account for 60 to 70 per cent of all deaths in the West. The new study, by scientists from the International Agency for Research on Cancer in Lyon and the European Institute of Oncology in Milan and published in Archives of Internal Medicine, shows that it does. The review of 18 trials involving 57,000 people found that those who took the supplements had an 7 per cent lower risk of death overall during the six-year period of the study.

Edward Giovannucci, a professor of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health, said that the research added "a new chapter in the accumulating evidence for the beneficial role of vitamin D on health". He called for a debate on the merits of "moderate sun exposure, food fortification with vitamin D and higher dose supplements for adults".
Vitamin D is important because we are often short of it. Most healthy individuals get all the vitamins and minerals they need from eating a balanced diet, but vitamin D is the exception. It is made by the action of sunlight on the skin, which accounts for 90 per cent of the body's supply. Very little comes from food.
But the increasing use of sunscreens and the decreasing amount of time spent outdoors, especially by children, has contributed to what many scientists believe is an increasing problem of vitamin D deficiency. In the winter, the sun in Britain is barely strong enough to make the vitamin, and by spring, say scientists, 60 per cent of the population is deficient (defined as a blood level below 30ng per millilitre).

Colds and flu
The traditional advice for avoiding these winter ailments has been to swallow large quantities of vitamin C. But we may have been turning to the wrong vitamin. Researchers from Winthrop University Hospital in Mineola, New York, found that giving supplements of vitamin D to a group of volunteers reduced episodes of infection with colds and flu by 70 per cent over three years. All the participants were Afro-Caribbean women whose dark skin means that they make less vitamin D. The researchers said that the vitamin stimulated "innate immunity" to viruses and bacteria. The decline in vitamin D levels between November and March could be the "seasonal stimulus" that accounts for the peak in colds and flu in the winter. "Since there is an epidemic of vitamin D insufficiency in the US, the public health implications of this observation could be great," the researchers wrote.

Heart disease
High rates of heart disease in Scotland have been blamed on the north's weak sunlight and short summers. Differences in sunlight may also explain the higher rates of heart disease in England compared with southern Europe. Some experts believe that the health benefits of life in the Mediterranean may have as much to do with the sun there as with the regional food.
A study of almost 10,000 women over 65 by the University of California found that those who took vitamin D supplements had a 31 per cent lower risk of dying of heart disease; researchers at the University of Bonn found lower levels of vitamin D in patients with chronic heart failure.
Vitamin D works by lowering insulin resistance, which is one of the major factors in heart disease. It is also used by the thyroid gland, which secretes a hormone that regulates the body's levels of calcium, which in turns helps regulate blood pressure.

Cancer
A 40-year review of research found that a daily dose of vitamin D could halve the risk of breast and bowel cancer, two of the biggest cancer killers. Scientists from the University of San Diego reviewed 63 scientific papers published since the 1960s and concluded that there was a need for "public health action" to boost vitamin D levels. They said that a daily dose of 1,000 international units (25 micrograms) was needed; the recommended level in the US is currently only 400 units. Vitamin D deficiency "may account for several thousand premature deaths from colon, breast, ovarian and other cancers annually," they wrote in the American Journal of Public Health.
The research showed that African Americans with darker skins and people living in the north-eastern US, where it is less sunny, were more likely to be deficient in vitamin D, and had higher cancer rates. This could explain why black Americans die sooner that whites from cancer, even after allowing for differences in income and access to health care.
In June, the Canadian Cancer Society recommended that adults start taking vitamin D supplements to reduce their risk of cancer.

Rickets
This is the disease traditionally linked with vitamin D deficiency. A century ago, the typical bow-legged gait of children whose bones had softened and deformed in the absence of the vitamin was a common sight. Cod liver oil, which contains vitamin D, was introduced as a welfare food in 1942 and virtually eliminated the condition. Now, rickets is reappearing. Last June, doctors in Dundee reported five cases in ethnically Asian children; dark skin produces vitamin D more slowly than lighter skin.
Vitamin D is crucial for the absorption of calcium, which is the building material for new bones. As well as leading to rickets, deficiencies can contribute to poor tooth formation, stunted growth and general ill health.
The National Institute for Clinical Excellence is consulting on a proposal to recommend supplements for certain pregnant women at risk: vegans and women who cover their skin for religious reasons. Supplements are already recommended for infants at risk, and are available free to families on income support and jobseeker's allowance.

Diabetes
Vitamin D supplements given to babies born in Finland reduced their risk of Type 1 diabetes by 80 per cent. Researchers followed 12,000 children born in 1966 until 1997 and found that those who developed rickets, indicating vitamin D deficiency, were three times more likely to become diabetic. Vitamin D is believed to act as an immunosuppressive agent, which may prevent an overly aggressive response from the immune system from destroying insulin-producing cells in the pancreas.
In Oxford, the number of five-year-olds with diabetes has increased fivefold, and the number of 15-year-olds with it has doubled. Doctors say that this increase is too steep to be caused by genetic factors, and must be due to changes in the environment. "Our research shows that an alarmingly high number of people in the UK do not get enough vitamin D," said Elina Hypoponen, from the Institute of Child Health in London, who led the Finland study. "In winter, nine out of 10 adults have sub-optimal levels."

Multiple sclerosis
The idea that sunlight might protect against MS arose because the condition is more common in countries further from the equator: gloomy Chicago has a higher rate than sunny Florida, for example. Cloudy Scotland has the highest rate of MS in the world. Scots born in May, after the long, dark winter, have an above-average risk, while those born in November, after the summer holidays, have the lowest risk.
Sir Donald Acheson, former UK Chief Medical Officer, published a study in 2004 suggesting that people who spent more time in the sun had a lower risk than those who stayed out of it. Published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, it concluded that a certain level of exposure to the sun might be necessary throughout the year.

Autism
Could vitamin D deficiency be behind the explosion in autism? John Cannell, a psychiatrist and vitamin D advocate, thinks so. The evidence is circumstantial, but Cannell says that medical advice to avoid the sun and cover up since the 1980s has paralleled the rise in autism. Flagging levels of vitamin D could be the decisive factor. Dr Richard Mills, research director at the National Autistic Society, said: "There has been speculation about autism being more common in high-latitude countries that get less sunlight, and a tie-up with rickets has been suggested – observations which support the theory."
How to get it – and how much you should take
* 90 per cent of the body's supply of vitamin D is generated by the action of sunlight on the skin.

* Vitamin D lasts for around 60 days in the body, so it needs regular topping up.

* Twenty minutes twice a week in the sun with exposed hands, arms and face is adequate to maintain reserves.

* There is no recommended supplementary dose in the UK.

* In the US, the recommended supplementary dose is 400 international units a day.

* Some scientists say that 1,000 international units of vitamin D a day may be necessary to prevent disease."

Open letter to Bill O Reilly of Fox channel

Mr. oreilly,

You rant against hecklers but aren't you guilty of that yourself? When you invite a guest on your program it is to hear his viewpoints, right? But you don't allow them to finish speaking. You interrupt them whenever they go against your extreme right-wing opinions. Remember, America is not always right. Making twisted statements, as you often do, only makes you look like a fool.

How small-minded can Asian governments get!

India:

I have talked about India elsewhere on this blog. Here is some more.

People of Indian origin like myself can apply for a special permit that would allow them to stay in India long term and leave and enter the country without further formalities. You have to prove that you were born in India by showing a birth certificate. To produce your foreign passport where it says you were born in India is unacceptable to them. Oh, no. In my case, and I am sure in the cases of a lot of other overseas Indians, the certificate got lost somewhere when India was left behind in search of greener pastures.

Now I ask you: Is it more important to produce a birth certificate or simply to prove that you were born in India? Any developed country would have accepted any proof, particularly that contained in a passport.

(2) There is an Indian visa office in Penang, Malaysia, but they only issue visas to Malaysians -- not to nationals of other countries. They told me to go to Kuala Lumpur to get a visa and if I wanted to apply for a residence permit I had to go all the way back to their embassy in Denmark. Can you beat that!

Malaysia:

There is a "My Second Home" scheme in Malaysia which allows you to settle in that country provided of course you have brought in a load of cash. The amazing thing is that you cannot walk into an immigration office, get all the forms and make your application then and there. Oh no. You have to go to a private agent who would help you with all the formalities and the agent of course does not do it for free. You have to cough up a fortune for their services.

And here's another amazing thing: You as a foreigner are not allowed to open a bank account in Malaysia; still in order to make your application you have first to show money in a Malaysian bank. There's catch 22 for you.

Thailand:

Some years ago I applied for a retiree visa and obtained it by showing 250,000 Bath and a document from the Danish consulate in Penang proving that I was a pensioner getting a certain amount every month. In Thailand you have to apply for such a visa every year. You would think that having proved everything about you the first year, that you would be sailing smoothly. But no. So the second year I applied again with the same documents as the year before. But this time the application was rejected. The document from the Danish consulate was now not acceptable; this time they wanted a document from the Danish embassy in Bangkok. I was in the city of Chiang Mai at that time and the lady head of the immigration office there simply stamped 'denied' in my passport. I wanted to tell her that I could go to Bangkok and get the required
document from the embassy. Her reply was, "You have to leave the country. We have stamped your passport. It's finished." So I left the country and when I came back with a simple tourist visa, I decided to talk to the immigration in Bangkok. The guy there told me: "If you had come to us we would have extended your retiree visa." I had to apply for it all over again but the money required had now gone up to 800,000 Bath! Amazing Thailand.

Sri Lanka:

The immigration there is so chaotic and so corrupt I don't even want to talk about it, except to say that they don't even bother to respond when you have made an application. It is as if you never applied.

Obama's Nobel prize

Did Obama deserve the Nobel peace price? Absolutely not! He has hoodwinked the American people by his fine speeches but he is no different from the international criminals who went before him in the white house.

Abbas

Recent events have proved beyond any doubt that Abbas is a puppet of the Americans and the Zionists. Let us hope that right thinking Palestinians in the Fatah party remove this bastard from the post of president and dump him where he belongs -- on the steps of the white house where he can more easily continue to lick the boots of his masters.

When did Bush and his thugs decide to invade Iraq and why?

Inscrutable Gaddafi

I have in the past considered Moamer Gaddafi of Libya as an eccentric, a man who didn't seem to know what he wanted. It was only a few days ago, after his long speech at the UN and his interview on Aljazeera, that I began to have some respect for the man. Unlike other third world leaders he had the guts to speak up against the body he was addressing, throwing away a copy of the UN charter as a piece of shit that had nothing to do with justice and fair play for all members but was something that served only the interests of the West and that of Russia and China. He called for a new body which I myself have advocated for a long time -- a body where no one had the power of the veto. I hope he succeeds in getting enough support from other countries. aziz anom

Comedian Russell Peters

A simple solution to America's "terrorist" problem

Are American politicians, from the president down, stupid? I don't think they are although it may seem that way judging from their policies and utterances. I think they know deep in their hearts that the Muslim masses do not hate America; rather they hate what America is doing: imposing despotic rulers on them who would serve America's interests instead of their own people's; and protecting Israel, no matter what evil things that criminal state does.   So there is a simple solution to America's problems with the Muslims -- a solution that will not cost a dime to the Pentagon as regards "terrorism". And that is:   DO NOT INTERFERE IN OTHER COUNTRIES AFFAIRS.   STOP SIDING WITH THE ZIONISTS. REMEMBER THAT THE CREATION OF ISRAEL WAS A CRIME AGAINST THE PALESTINIAN PEOPLE AND THE MUSLIMS WOULD NEVER FORGET THAT AND WILL DO EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO SEND THE JEWS PACKING BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.   aziz anom

Is the Quran from God?

When I first read the Quran in the English translation many years ago I was puzzled. I couldn't understand why God found the need to praise himself -- and so lavishly. If a human did that he would be laughed at and dismissed as childish. I turned to my father for an explanation. "Who wrote this book?" I asked him He looked at me as if I had gone off my rocker. To him, and to millions of other Muslims in the world, it was given that the Quran was the word of God and that was that. But I am convinced that it is not the word of god. God (if he does exist) cannot be a child nor a fool. He has no need to make himself important or great. He KNOWS he is. There are just too many strange things in the quran to convince anyone with even a little intelligence that it is the work of a man or several men. Here are a few: Those who deny Muhammad's revelations are like dogs. 7:176 "Allah is the best of plotters." 8:31 Exhort the believers to fight. They will win easily, because disbelievers are without intelligence. 8:65 Don't try to enjoy this life. The fun starts after you die. (If you are a good Muslim, that is.) 9:38 Allah supported Muhammad with armies that no one else could see. 9:40 Solomon was taught the language of birds. 27:16 The Jinn and birds fought in Solomon's army. 27:17 Those in hell must eat from a tree with the heads of devils, and then drink boiling water. After that they return to hell. 37:62-68 If bad stuff happens to you, it's your own fault. 42:30, 42:48 Allah made the stars as missiles to throw at devils. 67:5 Only religious people help orphans or those in need. 107:1-3 Allah struck Moses with lightening and then revived him just so that Moses would thank him for it! 2:55-56 Muslims are the best people. Most Non-Muslims are "evil-livers." 3:110 When it's time to pray and you have just used the toilet or touched a woman, be sure to wash up. If you can't find any water, just rub some dirt on yourself. 5:6 And if that's not enough for you then check out the following videos:

The difference between a western and a third world education

In the west, no matter what subject you graduate in, you acquire a wider knowledge of the world; you learn not to take anything at face value; you learn to ask questions and indulge in a healthy, perhaps heated, debate about a subject; nobody to you is beyond criticism, not even your teachers or the elders in your society.   In the east you come out of an institution of higher learning perhaps well versed in the subject you went to study but more or less an ignoramus in everything else. You have not learned to think for yourself, most things in life seem to you to be as they should be. You are still tied to your society's old beliefs and customs, especially to its religion. To think rationally is still beyond you.   Where ever I have traveled in the east I have always felt bored until I met a western tourist with whom I could have a nice chat. Talking to the locals was like talking to some statues, no matter what their background. aziz anom

jokes

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.
He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it.
He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr."
After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"

A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?"
The doctor answers "Well, I'll have to give you a thorough examination first, but in some cases there is a cure." So the doctor puts the guy through a battery of tests, and says, "I think I know what's causing your stuttering."
The guy excitedly asks, "Well, wa-wa-what is it, da- da-doctor?"
"It's your penis. I know that sounds crazy, but you have an unusually large penis - it's almost two feet long. It seems the weight is putting a strain on your vocal cords which most men never have to deal with."
The guy asks, "Wa-wa-what can we da-da-do?"
"Well, we could remove it and transplant a shorter one."
"Do it!" the guy replies. So they go through the operation, and three weeks later the guy comes in for a follow up appointment.
He says, "Doc, you solved my stuttering problem. I don't know how to thank you. But I've only had sex once in three weeks - my wife just doesn't like it anymore with my new, shorter penis. I've thought about it, and I decided I can put up with the stuttering easier than going without the sex - I want you to put my long one back on."
The doctor says, "No-no-nope. A da-da-deal's a da-da- deal!"

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "I have a problem with my dick!"
The lady at the counter says, "Sir, we do not say words like that at the doctors office! Now leave and come back and replace "Dick" with some other body part like "Ear."
The man does as he's told and comes back in and says, "I have a problem with my ear."
The lady the says, "What is that?"
To which the man replied, "I can't piss out of it!"

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind; either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"
So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation centre.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I`m here to donate some blood. They`re going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that`s interesting. I`m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation centre.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor "What's that thing hanging between my husbands legs?"
The doctor replies "We call that the penis."
The new bride then asks "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?"
The doctor replies "We call that the head of the penis."
The bride then asks "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?"
The doctor replies "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my ass!"

This lady is having a bed wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor. The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the other room.
When the doctor goes into the room he tells the lady to stand on her head facing the mirror. She figures he is a doctor and gets in front of the mirror. The doctor goes over to the lady and rests his chin between her legs and looks in the mirror.
After a few minutes he stands up and tells the lady to go ahead and put her clothes back on and he will talk to her when she is dressed. The lady puts her clothes on and asks the doctor what is wrong with her.
He tells her that she needs to quit drinking before she goes to bed. The lady asks the doctor why he had her get naked in front of the mirror and stand on her head.
He replies, "I wanted to see how I would look with a beard."

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman.
He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."

This young couple had only been married for about two weeks when the wife complains of a burning sensation in her chest. She tells her husband who suggests that she goes to the doctor to be examined. She arranges an appointment and goes the following day.
The husband, while at work receives a call from the doctor.
Doctor: "I am sorry to say your wife has acute angina..."
Husband: "Yeah, I know, she's got a nice pair of tits too!"

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

A guy was going on vacation and he didn't want his girl friend to have sex with any other guy while he was gone so the guy want to a porn shop and said to the clerk, "I need something to keep my girlfriend from having sex with another guy!"
So the clerk gets a box and said, "This is a Voodoo Dick. Here is a example of how it works," and the clerk said, "Voodoo Dick, the door!" and the dick went and fucked the door.
Then the clerk said to get in the box say 'voodoo dick your box.'"
So the guy brings it to his girlfriend and shows her how to use it but didn't tell her how to make it stop.
The next morning before she went to work she said, "Voodoo Dick, my pussy!" and it was the best sex she ever had, but she didn't know how to get it to stop.
So she went to the Doctors with it fucking her and eventually got in to see a gynaecologist.
She said, "I have a Voodoo Dick in my pussy and there's no way I can get it out!"
The Doctor looks at her suspiciously and says, "Voodoo Dick, my ass!"

A middle aged businessman goes to see his physician. "Doctor, I've got this problem," the man says. "My secretary, she loves to give blow jobs. Every morning when I get to work I get a blow job. She gives me a quick one before I leave for lunch. And before I leave work at the end of the day she really works me over."
"So what seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, you see, my wife is a nymphomaniac," the man continued. "I service her every morning when we get up. I go home for a quick half hour every day at lunch and then we have a marathon session each night before we go to sleep."
"I still don't know what your problem is," said the doctor.
"You see Doc, every time I masturbate I get these dizzy spells."

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina.
The woman started screaming "Oh my God, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!"
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval.
The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper."
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?"
The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!


Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African
diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had
received from the Russians before the new government kicked them
out. "The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an
airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."

The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game."

The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If
you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to
play. I'II show you how."

He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later six magnificently built,
nude women were ushered in.

"You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the
American. "That's great," the ambassador said. "That doesn't seem much like
Russian roulette."

"Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."

Muhammad and his 9 year old sex kitten

Recently I sent the above video to a Muslim relative of mine and, as you would expect of an uneducated believer, he rejected it as lies. It taught me never again to try to reason with such people. It is a waste of time. It is like talking to a wall.

If you are a Muslim and you have an open mind and are not afraid that you will be sent to hell after your death for questioning your religion, then have a look at this video and do some research of your own. You will be surprised if not shocked by the behaviour of your "Messenger of Allah".

Iran's pious frauds

It makes me outraged that a bunch of uneducated mullahs, with their long beards and silly turbans, should decide over the fate of millions of Iranians. I just hope that the protests now going on in the streets of Tehran succeed in overthrowing these religious dictators and that these criminals would be punished severely, preferably by dragging them by their beards through the streets and putting them on donkeys before being stoned to death (a method sanctioned by their religion). And I hope that eventually that country would become a secular state with a properly functioning democratic system.

Let us wish the people of Iran a happy future.

north korea's nukes

Why are the nuclear powers making such a fuss over North Korea setting off an atomic bomb? Have these selfish scums forgotten that they themselves possess such weapons? Who has given them the right to have a monopoly on these deadly blasts? If they don't like other countries having them then they should start dismantling their own arsenal first and then, if they want, they can start preaching to others.

The UN, which is controlled by the West along with Russia and China, passes resolutions condemning North Korea and Iran because these countries do not accept any bullshit from anyone. Does the UN ever condemn countries that are friendly to the big powers? Countries like Pakistan, India and Israel?

turkey and the EU

Turkey, a Muslim country, has been trying to get into the European Union for a long time without success. The Europeans have been using one excuse after another but the real reason of course is that Turkey is Islamic. Most people, I think, know this except the stupid Turkish leaders who continue to beg to be allowed in. Why are the Turks demeaning themselves so much? It is time they realised that their future lies only with their fellow Muslims. Let them form an Islamic Union and break their ties with the Zionists. With Turks on board the Muslims would be able to trample on Israel like they would on an ant, whether the Americans and the Europeans like it or not. Those Christians would then regret that they did not take Turkey into the EU.

dick cheney

Did you know that Cheney, the super hawk, evaded military service 6 times on some pretext or other? This bastard is prepared to send other Americans to their deaths but makes sure that he himself doesn't get hurt or killed. Bush too did the same thing.

the culling of swine in Egypt

Egypt has ordered the culling of all swine in that country. Let us hope the authorities there do not forget to include Mubarak.

Obama refuses to answer the question

At the press conference on his hundredth day Obama was asked if he believed that Bush and Cheney and the other top thugs in the previous administration had ordered the torture of prisoners. The President totally ignored the question and talked about how he himself was against torture. Why is this man shielding Bush? Why doesn't he want to prosecute the culprits at the top? Doesn't he realise that nobody is above the law?

The more one gets to know Obama the more one dislikes him. Let us hope that the American people see through this hypocrite and throw him out of the White House.

anti racism conference

Did you see who walked out of the meeting when the Iranian president started to condemn Israel? The Europeans! Why are these pink-coloured people so attached to the Zionist state to the point that they are willing to ignore all the crimes committed by that odious regime? Surely there are hardly any Jews on that continent pulling strings as there are in America. Could it be that it is the age old hatred towards the Muslims? Or perhaps the pinkies are afraid that if the Zionist state was dismantled it would generate a flood of Jews back to Europe and that would be horrible. Don't forget anti-semitism is still rife there despite Hitler having long gone. Wasn't getting rid of the Jews from Europe the original intention behind the creation of Israel at the expense of the Palestinian people? Was it not that (apart from hatred of the Muslims) that made that bastard Balfour come up with the declaration: "...His Majesty's government views with favour the establishment of a Jewish homeland in Palestine..."

I have had many arguments with Europeans over the years when they have invariably come up with statements like "Israel has a right to exist". I have told them that Israel has no right to exist in Palestine and always added "Give the Jews a part of your own land and then you can talk about Israel's right to exist". The only response to that was an embarrassed smile and a change of subject.

muslim women's headscarves

For me watching a woman wearing a headscarf is a pain. How silly the Muslims are to think that a woman's hair necessarily makes her desirable, requiring it to be hidden from men's eyes. Men are attracted to the opposite sex in so many different ways and hair is probably the least he is attracted to. I suppose they would say that hair as such is not the issue but what hair does to the appearance as a whole.

Be that as it may, the question we must ask now is: If women should be protected from men, why aren't the men from women's lustful gazes? Why aren't the men also required to cover their hair?

Let me say this: If I ever came to power in a Muslim country one of the first thing I would do is to order the burning of all headscarves.

Aljazeera and the ICC

A reporter on Aljazeera, mister Anand something, interviewed the president of the International Criminal Court, asking him, very tamely, about the war crimes committed by the Zionists in Gaza. Anand made no effort to pin the incoherent man down by asking any embarrassing questions. He accepted everything that was said to him and this surprised me. Here was Aljazeera playing the western game as it were. The heavily accented President said that the Court had taken action against the Sudanese President because the Security Council of the U.N. had told him to, whereas nothing had been said to him about Gaza. This should have prompted the question: So the Court is not an independent body? But that question never came. Anand could have proceeded to drive the point home by pointing out that the Security Council was controlled by the U.S. and the other lovers of Zionism so it is not a surprise that Gaza was not mentioned.

I say shame on you Aljazeera. I thought you were different from the biased western media. Idiotic reporters like Anand who are unable to confront their interviewees should not be employed by you.

education

What is the definition of Education? Who is an educated person? Is he an engineer, doctor, lawyer or any other person who has completed a long course of study at some school or university?
I say not.
I say that a person cannot be called educated unless he has learnt to think for himself and is able to question the accepted norms of his society.

the ultimate weapon against disease

What do you do when you are racked by a chronic, possibly serious disease? The stupid doctors of course haven't been able to do anything and you are just lying there suffering and waiting for death. Is there no hope at all for you? Well, take heart, there is.
It's called fasting.
When you fast (for 10 days at least) you give your body a chance to rid itself of all the toxins that have accumulated over the years through your bad eating and drinking habits and perhaps your sedentary life-style.
And this is how you do it:
Take a spoonful of blackstrap molasses and put it in a large cup or mug; then squeeze half a lemon into the cup and add hot water. Stir the mixture and drink up. And keep drinking this concoction as many times as you wish during the day, keeping well away from all other foods and drinks except water.
You will be healthy and vigorous all over again.

eczema

Recently I had the condition they call eczema (red, itchy rashes on the skin) so, as usual, I turned to the internet for help. Apparently there was no known cure for it. The Doctors resorted to steroid creams which do not work and are dangerous.
On the various discussion boards there seemed only one thing that people were sure actually worked against eczema and that was sea salt. The recommendation was made that you should go to the beach and soak yourself in the sea. That made me wonder if one could simply use ordinary table salt from the kitchen. So I took a glass of tap water, dissolved a few spoonfuls of salt in it and rubbed this salt water on my affected skin. And voila! my eczema began to disappear almost immediately.
But that didn't answer why the problem arose in the first place? Further research pointed the accusing finger at the following:
1) Food allergy, especially to milk and milk products.
2) Antibiotics
3) Excessive consumption of sugar/starch.
The last one seemed to be my problem. So I made some changes to my diet.
No more eczema.

frequent urination

For a long time now I have been troubled by frequent urination, especially during night time when I was obliged to get up from my sleep several times to go to the loo. What I observed was that the problem was particularly worse when I had consumed heaps of carbohydrates during the day.
On searching the literature on frequent urination one study caught my attention: it said that if you are on diuretics you can develop an intolerance for glucose (carbohydrate) leading to the body being unable to process the sugar and the sugar therefore building up in the blood stream -- a condition akin to diabetes. (Diabetics of course urinate often)
I had never been on diuretic drugs but I discovered that I had been eating a lot of foods, like certain spices, that were natural diuretics. The solution offered by that study was to discontinue the diuretics, cut down on salt and take potassium supplements. But how does one discontinue foods that one has been used to eating and loved doing so with a bit of salt? Not easy. I reasoned that potassium alone was unlikely to solve the problem and did not try it.
But over the course of time I found a simpler cure -- EXERCISE. Yes, whenever I had done a lot of physical activity during the day I slept mostly undisturbed during the night. This was in keeping too with what people have been saying about exercise, that it lowers the blood sugar level in the body (if not in the brain where it has the opposite effect). I went to Google to find out if anybody else had talked about the benefits of exercise in relation to frequent urination but there seemed to be no one.
Later on I discovered that the cause of the problem was very likely lack of fat in the diet, for whenever I had eaten butter or anything that had been fried, there was no rushing to the bathroom.

doctors -- a bunch of frauds.

I have long considered medical practice to be a disaster. Apart from giving antibiotics and patching up accident victims and congenital defects and such-like, is there anything else doctors are really capable of?
When it comes to degenerative diseases, doctors, despite their years of training, are probably engaged in quackery when they try to banish from view the ugly symptoms of their patients mysterious diseases with chemicals, operations and shocks. Do they really think that the diseases would simply go away by such means?
A true scientist and a healer would try to search for the cause of a disorder and remove that cause. And the cause -- in the vast majority of bodily mal-function, both physical and mental -- is food or the wrong kind of it that is being consumed. Indeed Hippocrates, whose oath our white-coated friends are required to take, himself proclaimed: THY FOOD SHALL BE THY REMEDY. But do we, the patients, ever get asked about our dietary habits when we go to see a doctor?
An interesting news item came to my attention the other day: Some years ago doctors in Bogota, Columbia, had gone on strike for 52 days and in that period the death rate there fell by 35 %. Also in Los Angeles, during a slow-down by doctors, the death rate dropped by 18 %. Makes you think, doesn't it? And if it doesn't, then read below what some eminent people are thinking:

Professor Alonzo Clark:
IN THEIR ZEAL TO DO GOOD, PHYSICIANS HAVE DONE MUCH HARM. THEY HAVE HURRIED THOUSANDS TO THE GRAVE WHO WOULD HAVE RECOVERED IF LEFT TO NATURE.

Sir John Forbes:
SOME PATIENTS GET WELL WITH THE AID OF MEDICINES, SOME WITHOUT, AND STILL MORE IN SPITE OF IT.

Professor Francois Magendie:
GENTLEMEN, MEDICINE IS A GREAT HUMBUG. I KNOW IT IS CALLED A SCIENCE. SCIENCE INDEED! IT IS NOTHING LIKE SCIENCE. DOCTORS ARE MERELY EMPIRICS WHEN THEY ARE NOT CHARLATANS. WE ARE AS IGNORANT AS MEN CAN BE. WHO KNOWS ANYTHING IN THE WORLD ABOUT MEDICINE?

Philosopher Alexis Carrel:
UNLESS THE DOCTORS OF TODAY BECOME THE DIETICIANS OF TOMORROW THEN THE DIETICIANS OF TODAY WILL BECOME THE DOCTORS OF TOMORROW.